Sunday, July 5, 2009

MISSING JENNIFER

The last few days I have been missing Jennifer so very much. I miss her every second of everyday...but thoughts of her have totally consumed me these past days. I kept thinking about that last day. None of us realized that she was doing worse...I had talked to her the last thing before going to bed that night before and called and talked to her nurse that final morning before going to work.....never expecting that would be the last time I heard her sweet voice and the last time that I could tell her I loved her.

I can remember all the prayers then and the prayers now that I said and still pray...asking God to please end this devastating disease, Cystic Fibrosis! I truly believe that a cure will be found...and what a joyous day that will be! I can remember many times Jennifer telling me that had she not had CF, she wouldn't have met and known alot of special people in her life. Last week, I read a card that she had given me for Christmas in 2004. She talked of how much she loved me and appreciated all that I did for her. She said that her doctor and counselor told her that she needed to tell me and her Dad that she has never blamed us for her having CF...she said that she knew no other life, and that CF was who she was. I know that our genes is the reason she had CF, but we had never even heard of CF before Jennifer was diagnosed. We didn't choose to take that chance. I truly believed that a cure would be found and that God would heal her!

Our series at church this summer is on sex, money and power. This morning Harold gave the sermon on the power of God. He said that he and Dena had a friend who had kidney stones and then found out he had kidney cancer. He was thirty-three years old. Harold said that he and Dena prayed and begged God to heal their friend. He said that yesterday he gave his friend's eulogy. He said that at first he wanted to question God about why He didn't heal this young man....but quickly realized that God did heal him by taking him home....the young man's work here on earth was over. This helped me so very much with my loss of Jennifer.....I prayed for a cure for her and God gave it to her by taking her home to be with Him! Since Jennifer passed away three years ago, I have learned more and more about the lives she touched in her short twenty-eight years she was here! I am so proud and so blessed that God chose me to be her Mother! I will continue to miss her until the day that I will see her again. I do know that she is happy and healthy now....I always knew that, but thank you, Harold, for reminding me once again!

2 comments:

Audra and Josh said...

Love you so much Debbie!!!

Denise Felton said...

I can hardly believe that your sweet girl has been gone for three years.

I believe God gave Jennifer to you and Pete because he knew you were the parents she needed -- and she was the child you needed. I have a feeling y'all will have a big talk about that the next time you meet.

*hugging you hard*