Monday, March 29, 2010


We celebrated what would have been Jennifer's 32nd birthday yesterday! It was a hard day for me, but it was so heart warming hearing others share their happy memories of Jennifer...Kimberly sharing her memories of their special vacation together, Patti sharing memories of hospital visits, Julie telling of sharing Jennifer's story to others, Joanna remembering her love of cheese and ketchup and her friends sharing their special memories. It touched my heart that Jennifer touched so many lives and still does. Patti even said that we dedicate our next Pajama Mama outing at IHOP to Jennifer...that would make her laugh!

Bill, Judy, Kimberly, Karen, Princess Breanna and Cory and his family went to church....was surprised that Mica came too..was glad to see her. We then went to the cemetery to put flowers and sing Happy Birthday...someone had left pink roses at the cemetery. After having a wonderful lunch, Barb came by to visit for a minute. We then said goodbye to Bill, Judy, Cory and family....they had to make the long trip back to Illinois. We were very glad they came down and we were finally able to meet little Gage!

Arriving home and finding so many people that had shared their memories of Jennifer brought tears of joy. I am so truly blessed to have so many dear and special friends, as was Jennifer! Thank you everyone for taking the time to do that...I love you all!

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Thirty-two years ago today, God gave me the most precious gift of my beautiful daughter, Jennifer Suzanne! She was everything I could dream of and more! It took us eight years to get that little 7 pound bundle of joy...but she sure made the wait worth it! That head full of black hair and those incredible life was changed for the better that very moment! I had no idea at that time , how much I would learn from her. At the age of five months, she beat the odds by being one of only five children to be known to have Cystic Fibrosis and a heart defect, and in 1978, the only known one to survive! She demonstrated strength, courage and her will the day of her heart surgery as well as the rest of her life! She fought each of her many health battles with courage and never complained about any of it! She taught me so much....I think that is why I am able to handle my health battles, as well!

Four years ago today, we celebrated her 28th birthday on the 28th! She thought that was so special....she looked so beautiful and was so happy! I would have never dreamed that only twenty-one days later, she would be gone forever! God had better plans for her....I miss her each minute of everyday, but I know that she is happy and healthy! I have such precious memories of her past birthdays....I can remember all her childhood birthday celebrations...Cabbage Patch, Strawberry Shortcake, Barbie, Smurf, E.T. , skating parties and slumber parties!

We will celebrate her birthday today...with Kimberly, Bill and Judy, Cory and his family, Karen, Aaron, Princess Breanna and other family members that want to going to church, taking flowers to the cemetery and having lunch. We will plant a tree and roses in her memory and reflect on her wonderful life. I sent out cards with sunflower seeds, one of Jennifer's favorite flowers, to be planted in her memory. I think this summer, we will be seeing alot of beautiful sunflowers blooming all over the country!!! Jennifer's life was cut short....but she lived a life that many people twice her age have not....she touched the lives of so many people and didn't even realize she was doing it. She was so sweet, caring and compassionate! She tried hard not to judge people and to do for others! She loved God, her family, friends, flowers, music, books and any and every animal God created! I am so grateful for having so many wonderful memories of her to cherish and cherish them I will, forever! This little seven pound baby given to me thirty-two years ago blessed me then and continues to bless me everyday! Happy Birthday, Jennifer....I will love you forever!!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010


My nephew and his awesome family from Illinois are adopting a special little boy, named Gage. Gage is 8 months old now and Cory's family has been so blessed by well as Gage being blessed by such a wonderful family. Gage has Golden Har Syndrome which includes a large.. facial cleft abnormality and other problems. He will begin a long road of surgeries on April 15th in Chicago...the doctors say his surgeries probably won't be over until he is eighteen years old. I am so happy to have this time to meet Gage and spend time with him and his adorable sisters...he is lucky to have four older sisters who adore him....two of his sisters...Lexie and Amber spent a week with us last summer and stole our heart...what angels!

When Gage's grandparents, Bill and Judy, were visiting us a couple of months ago...Judy and I worked on a scrapbook for Gage. Working with his book, I feel like I got to know him...seeing him grow and progress on each new page....I am very excited to be able to meet him!

On Saturday, we have invited all the family over to meet Gage and visit with will be nice for everyone to get together and have some time together. Life gets busy and we just don't get to see everyone as much as we would like to. We will grill burgers and have a pot luck...hoping that the rain stays everyone can enjoy being, play or fish!

Gage has been on our prayer list at church. Cory said that they want to go to church with me on Sunday...that makes me very happy! Sunday is also Jennifer's birthday...she would have been 32 years old....just doesn't seem real that she isn't here. She would be happy that Bill, Judy, Cory, Theresa and kids will be here to help us remember her birthday....especially since they will be going to church with us! Wouldn't it be great if everyone would come to church with us? I will sure ask everyone on Saturday! We will take flowers to the cemetery after church and share memories of Jennifer!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Went to NLR yesterday to have lab done...had lunch with Charlotte and her grandsons. I then went to the farmer's market to get seed potatoes for the garden....all the beautiful flowers there really made me know that Spring was really here....gorgeous! Perfect the 70's...drove with the sun roof open, soaking in all that wonderful Vitamin D! That kind of day just makes you feel so happy!

Since I have been taking chemo, one of the things I haven't been able to do is go shopping....not that I am complaining...saving money LOL! Yesterday, my spirits were so good and I really felt I decided that I would stop at this little shopping center at the entrance of Hot Springs Village and get some of the grocery bargains. My Mom and I used to enjoy going there and shopping for the bargains....It is a nice store...not big like Kroger's. I went in and was to the back of the store...and then it hit me! My legs felt like jello and I got that weak feeling....this was so disheartening to me....I thought I was doing so well....guess it was just a reminder to me that the chemo is working and I still have to give it time! It was still a wonderful day....and I enjoyed being out in the gorgeous sunshine....seeing the beautiful art work that God has created this time of year for us to enjoy....all the beautiful trees, bushes, flowers starting to bloom and the birds singing! All the gloom of winter is now renewed by the glory of Spring! Hoping everyone is able to savor some of this beautiful time of year! It just makes you feel alive and happy!!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Online Bible Study with Beth Moore

One of my favorite people ever is Beth Moore! She is beautiful, funny, engaging, encouraging and such a joy to listen to! My daughter, Jennifer, and I did some of her Bible studies together and enjoyed each and every minute of them. Jennifer used to tell me that she could listen to Beth 24/7!....I think I could too! I learn so much from her and always leave one of her studies feeling good, encouraged and wanting to learn more. I follow her She shares so much on her blog. Her latest book...So Long Insecurities was released in February. She has an online nine week Bible study using this book. Each week, she will give two chapters and a couple of questions for the study. I didn't find out about it until recently, but I am going to start it and try to catch up! I thought that I would let all you other Beth Moore fans know about it.

Friday, March 19, 2010


I had my fifth round of chemo on Monday....this week has really been the hardest on me since I began. I have been sooo tired and have stayed in the bed most of the week. People that know me, know that this is not my norm at all...I am an early riser and not a napping person. I just felt yucky all week...weak, tired and that "out of body" thing...where you think that you really aren't in your body...I know, it sounds crazy, but I don't know how else to explain it! I woke up this morning feeling alot better...haven't napped all day, sat outside and enjoyed this gorgeous day reading for awhile. Now, I have just received the phone call that I have been waiting cancer markers are down again! God is awesome....I am so grateful and happy! Hopefully, this journey will come to an end and I will be back to normal and back to care, love and hope at a place I call my second home...Arkansas Children's Hospital....I truly miss that part of my life so very much! Thank you to all my wonderful friends for their encouragement and support and for all the prayer warriors I have on my are the greatest and I love all of you...thank you, Kimberly, for always cheering me on and being by my side! You are my rock...and my wonderful hubby for putting up with me and of course, my canine daughters...Jazzabelle and Emma Grace for being my shadow and being with me each and everyday! This news sure makes the perfect ending to a not so perfect week! Still "Fighting Like a Girl"!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Finished Round #5

I had great day with my wonderful sister and chemo buddy, Kimberly. Went to church on Sunday....great message from Pastor Fred from Kenya! Ya Ya Day at Kimberly's, Pajama Mama's at IHOP...great fun with great friends...they even brought us wigs to wear in honor of my bald head! I spent the night with Kimberly, woke up very early due to the steroids and did more crafting...then she made us a wonderful breakfast of eggs benedict with asparagus..Yum! We then left and delivered the "Jennifer Project" bags to ACH, went to chemo...Dr. Sneed seemed pleased with my progress...will get latest cancer markers later this magic for helping with the extreme fatigue since I am unable to take the Ritalin this time because of my heart! Left chemo about 3:00, went to lunch and I had wonderful grilled salmon and baked sweet potato! Yummy! We then stopped by the Stitchin Post to pick up some fabric....Mandy has so generously agreed to make me some summer time turbans to wear!...then on to our chemo day mani and relaxing...still no discount for only having eight toenails LOL! Long back home a little after 7:00...but was so worth it. Kimberly spoils me so on chemo day....but I love every minute of it! Don't know what I would do without her encouragement, love and support...she is the greatest! I am so fortunate to have such wonderful encouragement and inspiration from friends and family....I am truly blessed!

My friends' daughter, Haley, had her ten hour surgery yesterday for her cancer...eleven years old and so strong, positive and a true went well and the doctors think they got all the cancer! We serve such an awesome God and He does hear and answer our prayers! Haley is so sweet...she sent me a message on fb Sunday night, the night before her big surgery...wishing me well on my chemo day....what a sweetheart! I have only corresponded with her on fb and by sending her cards....but hope to meet her one day and give her a big hug....she is amazing! Her Dad is my I know where she gets her strength!

Not able to sleep right now because of the steroids! Just got home from getting my Neulasta injection, I met a lady there that when she first started her chemo, she didn't sleep for three days straight! She said she only slept 1 1/2 hours last night due to the steroids! Today is the last day of steroids for this I should be able to sleep tomorrow any rate, loss of sleep is a small price to pay for killing cancer cells, wouldn't you say?

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's day....don't forget to wear your you won't get pinched LOL! I made Shamrock Sugar Cookies for the church dinner tomorrow night...had to take them to the church on Sunday...saving me a trip driving to NLR after chemo! Kimberly made St. Patrick's Day cupcakes for the patients and staff at chemo yesterday....they were a big get sorta hungry while sitting in that chemo chair for over three hours! I guess you can say I have already celebrated St. Patrick's Day.....don't plan on leaving the house tomorrow!

Hope everyone has a good week...

Saturday, March 13, 2010


I can hardly believe that it is time for chemo again....three weeks sure goes by fast. This last round seemed like it was harder on me than the previous ones....alot more tired and just sluggish! Had a scare with the insurance company...but thankfully that is resolved now! After finding out the Neulasta shots that I get the day after chemo cost almost $8000.00....I can see why they would want to get rid of me! Just happy that is resolved!

March is a hard month for me...maybe that is why I think the chemo was harder this time. It is hard to believe that my baby would have been 32 years old on the 28th! I miss her sooo much...this was the time of year that I loved most....the beginning of Spring and planning something special for her birthday. On her last birthday we celebrated....she had turned 28 years old on the 28th! She thought that was pretty special! I remember how beautiful she looked that night as we celebrated at Red Lobster! Never would have thought that just a short 24 days later, she would be gone! We all need to cherish each day that we have our loved ones...because you never know when you might not have another chance! Life is short! I treasure the memories I have of Jennifer....and I know in my heart that she is happy and healthy now....but that doesn't keep me from missing her! I am just so grateful that I know that I will see her again!

Give your children, grandchildren, sisters, brothers, parents, grandparents and friends a big hug today or pick up the phone and tell them that you love them!

I am looking forward to going to church tomorrow, ya ya day at Kimberly's...then Pajama Mama's at IHOP tomorrow evening. You can't help but laugh and have a good time around the Pajama Mama's...I cherish their friendship and love spending time with them...They are so uplifting and funny....they are supposed to all wear wigs with their pajamas this honor of my bald head! LOL! I am sure the other customers at IHOP won't forget us! It seems that we always get the same back table....wonder why that is???? Chemo day with my great chemo buddy...Kimberly...will be a great day too! She always treats me to a manicure and pedicure and a wonderful lunch! It is always good spending chemo time with others going through different stages of their treatment, as well....alot of encouragement and inspiration and being grateful in that room! Those three hours spent can sure make you feel grateful for the smallest things in life!

Happy Spring to everyone....tell your loved ones that you love them!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


I have had a pretty rough few days...unable to sleep and just feeling yucky! I can feel that about to change as I look out the window and see the beautiful sunshine and the cardinals in the yard! This kind of day makes anyone feel better! Spring is in the air...supposed to be 65 degrees by the weekend! YAY! Spring is a time for renewal and I am hoping that all these cancer cells are being renewed by the chemo....praying that the cancer markers continue to go down and that I will have this chapter behind me and be back to work! I truly miss that part of my life so very much...never would have thought that back problems and a hip replacement would have led to this journey....but everything happens for a reason....if I had not had those problems, then the cancer would have not been detected at this early I am grateful for that. I do know that God is in control and that He is the "Great Physician"! He has the plan for us all....we just have to keep the Faith and put our Trust in Him!! I am welcoming Spring with open arms and can hardly wait to see the flowers start to bloom!

Jennifer's birthday is the 28th of this month...I am sure that is another reason that I love Spring so much....always had such a good time planning for her birthday party. Each year since she passed away, I have done something to try to keep her memory alive by celebrating her birthday. I think I have come up with a good project this year and am excited to get it started. One year, the project included sending everyone a purple balloon to release in her memory...of course, I had forgotten that they needed to be filled with helium to take flight LOL! Oh well, the point of remembering her was made. We did send off helium balloons in her memory too!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Spring and Easter Season! Let us not forget why we celebrate Easter and what a gift we received! Take a few minutes each day to reflect on this meaning!

Monday, March 1, 2010


On Friday, I got the wonderful news that my cancer markers were down again...YAY! We had such gorgeous Spring weather in the forecast for the weekend! I was so looking forward to being outside and soaking up some Vitamin D rays! It really was a georgeous day! I woke up Saturday morning feeling pretty yucky! My stomach hurt most of the night, feeling nauseauted (which I ususally don't do), soooo tired, and experiencing that "out of body" thing..where you just don't feel like you are in your body...sounds crazy, I know! Ended spending most of the day in bed, or my my friend, Shirley, calls it...she was down this weekend too! I was still hoping that I would be able to go to church on Sunday and then do some YaYa-ing! Have I told you that my favorite day of the week is Sunday? I get to see my wonderful church family and worship with them, and then get to see my awesome sister and friends for crafting! When I have to miss church and YaYa makes for a very looooooong week! I spent most of Sunday in the cave also, but did get four challenge cards made. Kimberly challenged us by making cards by a virtual stamp day....what would we do without computers??? She always thinks of just the right challenges to get our mojo going....very inspiring! I will work on the other cards this week!

I am feeling much better today....a good night's sleep is a good thing! My theory is that since
my cancer markers are coming down....there are less cancer cells for the chemo to attack....thus more side effects! Makes sense to me.....and that is a good thing! I want to get this over and get back to work!

The weekend wasn't a total to spend time with my sweet hubby and precious canine daughters! Hubby worked out in the yard and grilled some favorite...was able to eat most of one! He does a great job on grilling burgers!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful week....looks like we will really feel Spring this coming weekend...temps in the mid 60's!!! friend, Patti, will be wearing her yellow box flip flops for sure!!!