As of last week, I have been fighting cancer for fourteen years! It has been a roller coaster for sure. I know that I have become a much stronger person because of it and know how to appreciate and cherish the little things in life. As a friend of mine, who is also a survivor said, I wouldn't give up the pain for the things I have gained through this experience. I trust God's plan for my life and am trying my best to walk closer with Him each day. I try to let my loved ones know how much I love them and how much they mean to me. I try to be a friend to those in need and try to help those that need help. Feeding the homeless once a month, makes me even more aware of how truly blessed that I am.
Pete has been gone for six months today! It just doesn't seem possible. I miss him so very much. 42 1/2 years is a long time to be with someone, and then it is gone. Like I have said before, when I lost my precious Jennifer, I didn't think that I would even be able to breathe again, much less keep on going. Pete was here with me, and we helped each other through our grief. I miss her so much, just like it was yesterday. I try to keep her memory alive by honoring her in any way that I can, like through the "Jennifer Project" for the kids at the hospital....I know that she would love this. I have really surprised myself about the independence I have gained since losing Pete....it hasn't been easy, but I am getting there. I love mowing...just wish that I wasn't so afraid of mowing the hilly places...still afraid of falling off the mower. This is getting a little better, but have accepted the fact that if I can't do it, I will just have grassy hills LOL! I know that he is proud of me for what I have learned to do for myself. We take for granted all the things that our spouses do. I so wish that I had paid more attention to the things that he always took care of and had learned more....little things like where the cut off for the water to the house is....thank goodness that a call to my nephew, Bobby, solved that mystery for me. I am learning! I thank God for all that I have, for my sister and family, my wonderful friends, my church family and of course, my furry daughters! I have bad days, that is for sure....never know when they are coming or what brings them on....just have to keep on going.
I am glad that Barb and I have such a close relationship....hate that it got closer because of us both being new members to the "widow club", but so grateful to have someone that truly understands. I think that sometimes people just don't understand how hard it is.....and I am glad that they haven't had to lose their loved one.
I still proclaim that God is good and He is good ALL the time! He hears my prayers, knows my hurt and He is always in control and there for me! He has the plan for each of us. I will continue to have a closer walk with Him and give thanks for what I have!