WISH THAT I COULD TURN THE CALENDAR NOW!

I can hardly believe that it has been six years today since we lost my Dad, and it will be three years on Tuesday since we lost Jennifer!

It seems like when you have such losses, that the world would just stop..but it keeps on going. You get up each day and have to move forward. There are times that you would just love to stay in bed, cover your head and not get up. Somehow, you get up and go on. You know that your loved ones are happy and healthy now and they are with their Heavenly Father, but that doesn't erase the emptiness and sadness you feel. There are many times that I find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call my Mom and Dad, just like I did when they were here. When I go to the grocery store, somehow it just doesn't seem right not buying ten packs of cheese and ten bottles of ketchup for Jennifer...I am sure there has been a huge drop in sales over the last three years for Kroger cheese and Hunt's ketchup. People would sometimes ask me if I was having a big cookout when they saw my grocery basket...I would just say no, just getting it for my daughter! It's the little things in life that you miss so much! I miss her smile, her compassion for others, hearing about her dreams...I miss everything about her! As we start planning to plant the garden, I miss all the conversations we had with Mom and Dad about what we wanted to grow and how Mom and I were going to can it together!

I am very thankful that I have so many wonderful memories of them. It is just hard to look at those dates on the calendar and wonder how time goes on without them!