Saturday, August 21, 2010
GOD IS SOO GOOD....ALL THE TIME!
We serve such an awesome God....He is sooo good and He is good all the time! This has been such a stressful week for me...first having to resign the job that I have loved for twenty years and then being admitted to the hospital for the infection in my leg and a new onset of high blood sugar...then testing that revealed a new cancer in my spine. Dr. Sneed came in last night with the results of my bone scan..It revealed a small focus on my spine, which he said is very small and could have already been there. He said that it was nothing to worry about and that the chemo would get it...the rest of the bone scan is CLEAR! Praise the Lord! He is so good and is good all the time...we just have to put our trust and faith in Him..which I do and I will keep "Fighting Like a Girl!"
Friday, August 20, 2010
SHAME ON THOSE GEYSERS!!!
After having to mnake such a hard life decision on Monday, I had to be admitted to the hospital...anyone who knows me, knows that this is my least favorite place to be and I try to avoid being in the hospitlal at all times! When I went to see Dr. Curtner, he thought that the leg and geysers were in need of treatment..his first choice was to put me in the hospital..the second choice was tring a compression Unna Boot..which I wanted to try first. When the lab he had drawn came back, my blood sugar was 400...the Unna Boot would not solve this problem! I was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday...I had an echocardiogram..which thankfully is normal..an ultrasound on my legs..which showed normal blood flow...then a CT of the abdomen, which showed no blockage that would restrict blood flow to my legs...however, the CT did show a lesion on my spine that they think is metastatic breast cancer...I had a bone scan yesterday and am awaiting the results! The CT did show that the place on my left hip is gone! Praise the Lord! I sure wasn't expecting to find more cancer now, but if it turns out to be more cancer, I will be grateful that the leg problems led me to discover it at an early stage and that it will be treated and gone soon! I always say that everything happens for a reason and will just have to be patient and accepting of the outcome of this. I will keep my pink gloves out and continue to "Fight Like a Girl!"
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
SUCH A HARD AND EMOTIONAL DAY
Monday was such a hard and emotional day for me. Arkansas Children's Hospital, also known as the place of love, care and hope, has been a huge part of my life since 1978...when Jennifer was a patient there and then in 1990, when it became my work home and the home of my "second family"! When you work someplace for twenty years, it does become like family...you experience weddings, births, loss of loved ones, children graduating, becoming grandparents, career advancements, divorce, battles of illness, sorrow and many joys! I am and always will be so proud to be able to say that I was part of the team of the best Respiratory Therapist in the country! I have made many life long friends working there...co workers, patients and parents of patients...I am still friends with a loving family that I met in 1978...on the day that Jennifer was diagnosed with Cystic Firbrosis!
When I fought cancer eleven years ago, I was able to return to work and continue to give care, love and hope! After being diagnosed with the return of cancer this time, it was my intent, desire and hope to do the same...I really never doubted that I would be able to return. I guess being eleven years older does make it harder on the body. Last week I received a letter from the long term disability company from work. The letter said that they had determined that I was now 100% disabled. Now this is hard dose of medicine for me to swallow....first being, I just don't like the sound of being called disabled. I guess in my mind, I just didn't want to admit it. You see, your mind still thinks you will be able to continue doing everything that you want it to do, even though in reality, you know that you aren't able to do it. I know in my heart that I couldn't even walk from my car to the door of the hospital right now, and I sure couldn't work a twelve hour shift.
As I have said before, I am so proud to say that I am employee of ACH and so grateful for our manager and the wonderful people in Human Resources have been so very good to me...understanding, compassionate and caring. They have extended my leave from family medical leave to personal leave....allowing me to continue "Fighting Like a Girl" this latest battle.
Our busy season at work...RSV...is approaching. As badly as I want to return to work, I cannot in clear conscience, keep my position tied up. It would not be fair to make our staff short, because of me. After much prayer, a broken heart and manyu tears, I have resigned my position. Going to work gave me such joy and a sense of purpose in life. Even after moving to Hot Springs, I didn't mind making the commute. I looked forward to seeing my work family and the patients that gave me such joy to care for.
As this chapter of my life closes, I will still have all the wonderful memories of ACH, my friends and patients. I will continue to work on "The Jennifer Project", hopefully being able to expand and improve it. I will treasure the friendships I have made and continue them. I will continue to be grateful fore the knowledge
I have gained. I know that God is good, He is always in control and that He has the plan for all of us. I will take this as a sign from Him for me to concentrate on my fight against cancer. Hopefully, I will be able to one day return to ACH as a volunteer or even go back to work....whatever God chooses for me to do!
When I fought cancer eleven years ago, I was able to return to work and continue to give care, love and hope! After being diagnosed with the return of cancer this time, it was my intent, desire and hope to do the same...I really never doubted that I would be able to return. I guess being eleven years older does make it harder on the body. Last week I received a letter from the long term disability company from work. The letter said that they had determined that I was now 100% disabled. Now this is hard dose of medicine for me to swallow....first being, I just don't like the sound of being called disabled. I guess in my mind, I just didn't want to admit it. You see, your mind still thinks you will be able to continue doing everything that you want it to do, even though in reality, you know that you aren't able to do it. I know in my heart that I couldn't even walk from my car to the door of the hospital right now, and I sure couldn't work a twelve hour shift.
As I have said before, I am so proud to say that I am employee of ACH and so grateful for our manager and the wonderful people in Human Resources have been so very good to me...understanding, compassionate and caring. They have extended my leave from family medical leave to personal leave....allowing me to continue "Fighting Like a Girl" this latest battle.
Our busy season at work...RSV...is approaching. As badly as I want to return to work, I cannot in clear conscience, keep my position tied up. It would not be fair to make our staff short, because of me. After much prayer, a broken heart and manyu tears, I have resigned my position. Going to work gave me such joy and a sense of purpose in life. Even after moving to Hot Springs, I didn't mind making the commute. I looked forward to seeing my work family and the patients that gave me such joy to care for.
As this chapter of my life closes, I will still have all the wonderful memories of ACH, my friends and patients. I will continue to work on "The Jennifer Project", hopefully being able to expand and improve it. I will treasure the friendships I have made and continue them. I will continue to be grateful fore the knowledge
I have gained. I know that God is good, He is always in control and that He has the plan for all of us. I will take this as a sign from Him for me to concentrate on my fight against cancer. Hopefully, I will be able to one day return to ACH as a volunteer or even go back to work....whatever God chooses for me to do!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
CHEMO #13 DOWN...WILL THIS BE LUCKY #13!
I had round #13 of chemo yesterday....a great weekend leading up to it! I had great service at church and got to visit with friends..followed by great ya ya time with Kimberly and Lisa...lots of great crafting, wonderful food, laughing and visiting! After chemo, another good lunch and more crafting...such a good day, but tired and ready to be back home with my hubby and dogs! I did have a good night's sleep...Ambien won over the chemo steroids...YAY! Feels good to be able to sleep, especially on chemo days! I sure do miss talking to my sweet Anita on these nights, but glad that she is happy and healthy now and not having to worry abo such things!
It looks like I will be taking the chemo alot longer....he said as long as it is working! I will have another in PET SCAN in November to see where we are....just trying to be patient and know that God is in control and putting my trust in Him, the Great Physician! He is the one with the plan....not me! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Another thing I need to do is go back to Troy for my Lymphadema treatment....since beginning chemo again and having numerous infections in my arm and leg, my arm has really gotten big again..deserving of the name "Popeye Arm"! I will call for an appointment as soon as this infection in my leg is cleared up more and not leaking! This therapy is not something I look forward to....my arm will be wrapped from my shoulder to my finger tips, and I won't be able to write or make cards, which is my therapy! It is hard to do everything with your left arm and hand...but I will get through it as I did before.
I will have to be happy with the every two week chemo schedule right now also...can't take them every three weeks like I did the Taxotere, or they won't work! If you only do one of the two drugs, it has to be taken every week....so I will be happy staying on the two week schedule for now....most of the time the second week is not as bad as the first week, which gives me a few "normal" days!
Last week, I had a headache for a few days...but I read on the bottle of the Zofran for nausea that this drug can cause headaches...when I mentioned the headaches to Dr. Sneed, at first he was going to order a brain scan, but after telling him the headaches had stopped when I stopped the Zofran, he decided it wasn't necessary...WHEW!... that would be another stress that I don't want right now! He seems really pleasesd with my progress! So...."I will keep Fighting Like a Girl"...getting by with a little help from my friends, hubby, sister and the grace and love of God...knowing that He is the one with the plan and that He is in control and that He is good! I will keep my new friends that are beginning their fight...Marilyn and Dallis...and friends like Red, Judy, Bill, Chuck and Mike and others that continue their fight close in thought and prayer! We are in this together and it helps to know the support and prayers are there for us!
It looks like I will be taking the chemo alot longer....he said as long as it is working! I will have another in PET SCAN in November to see where we are....just trying to be patient and know that God is in control and putting my trust in Him, the Great Physician! He is the one with the plan....not me! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Another thing I need to do is go back to Troy for my Lymphadema treatment....since beginning chemo again and having numerous infections in my arm and leg, my arm has really gotten big again..deserving of the name "Popeye Arm"! I will call for an appointment as soon as this infection in my leg is cleared up more and not leaking! This therapy is not something I look forward to....my arm will be wrapped from my shoulder to my finger tips, and I won't be able to write or make cards, which is my therapy! It is hard to do everything with your left arm and hand...but I will get through it as I did before.
I will have to be happy with the every two week chemo schedule right now also...can't take them every three weeks like I did the Taxotere, or they won't work! If you only do one of the two drugs, it has to be taken every week....so I will be happy staying on the two week schedule for now....most of the time the second week is not as bad as the first week, which gives me a few "normal" days!
Last week, I had a headache for a few days...but I read on the bottle of the Zofran for nausea that this drug can cause headaches...when I mentioned the headaches to Dr. Sneed, at first he was going to order a brain scan, but after telling him the headaches had stopped when I stopped the Zofran, he decided it wasn't necessary...WHEW!... that would be another stress that I don't want right now! He seems really pleasesd with my progress! So...."I will keep Fighting Like a Girl"...getting by with a little help from my friends, hubby, sister and the grace and love of God...knowing that He is the one with the plan and that He is in control and that He is good! I will keep my new friends that are beginning their fight...Marilyn and Dallis...and friends like Red, Judy, Bill, Chuck and Mike and others that continue their fight close in thought and prayer! We are in this together and it helps to know the support and prayers are there for us!
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