It is hard to believe that just two weeks ago today, at this time of day, I was making coffee for us and we were making plans for the day. Little did I know, that would be the last cup of coffee that I would make for my husband of 42 years....how many cups of coffee had I made during those years? That was probably our most favorite times of the day....sitting outside drinking our coffee and watching the dogs run and play! I think the little things in life are what bring us the most pleasure.....I know this did, especially when our humming birds were here!
I look back on the past several months or even the past year, and I question myself whether or not I tried to push him too hard. I know that he didn't feel well and was in so much pain. I just kept telling him that if he tried to stay out of bed and get a little exercise, that it would make him feel better. Right or wrong in my thinking, I know that he knew, as well as I did, that it was done out of love for him. I just wanted him to be able to enjoy life again. In my mind, I had hoped that he would get stronger each day. I wanted him to be able to live the dreams we shared....a big garden and spending more time with friends and family. I know that over the past year, people thought that I was sometimes worrying too much, about not wanting to leave him here alone, while I went to Little Rock....maybe that was the case, but I wouldn't have done it any other way. I did what I know in my heart, I needed to do. I don't regret any of that.
We pray for the people that we love and care about. God is a loving God and he listens to our prayers and answers them. He may not answer them in the way we hope for, but He does answer them, according to the plan that He has for each of us. I prayed continually that Pete would feel better and be out of the pain he was in. Guess what? He is no longer in pain, and he is with Jennifer, Jesus and other loved ones that had passed before him! Isn't that what I had prayed for? That he would no longer suffer. I will keep my faith always, being ever so grateful that I was given the promise that I will see them again.
I just hope that everyone realizes how very precious our time is with our loved ones and that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow....that we need to let our loved ones know how much we love them, how much they mean to us, and not get so caught up in life, that we don't take the time for them. The most important thing for everyone to know is that God gave his only Son, so that we can all have everlasting life and be with our loved ones forever! I don't know how people who don't believe, can make it through the days of loss. God is good and He is good ALL the time! I will keep my faith, and keep trying to have a closer walk with Him, and try to do more for others!